Are there Consequences of Helping Others Before Helping Yourself?
Are there Consequences of Helping Others Before Helping Yourself? Which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
Caring more about what others think than what you think can lead down a rabbit hole....................
As nurturers, it is practically ingrained in us from the get go to take care of the needs of others. Unfortunately, many times it comes at the expense of dismissing your own needs. Yes, you know. How often did you or do you still hear the infamous words, "But what would so and so think" or "Well, you don't want to hurt their feelings"?
Often, from more than likely both yourself and others.
Of course, we don't want to hurt others’ feelings, so you comply, and hurt your own.
Gulp.
Did you know this sentence is actually a trained response more than likely picked up in childhood? It could be through the family system, teachers, a community or social group setting, friends, etc.… Told through instruction from others …….that is how behaviors and cycles are passed down. Not their fault - that is how they were taught. And the cycle continues.
Put others’ feelings and opinions above your own long enough and you’ve trained yourself to
Create the assumption your feelings aren’t important
Train yourself to stuff your feelings when they do come up
Dismiss them all together
Stuff them and dismiss them long enough you now have a hard time even identifying emotion.
You have now trained yourself to value others’ opinions over your own.
The above are only the tip of the iceberg of consequences.
The familiar rings of making sure others are good before you. Kapeesh?
No worries, anything programmed can be de-programmed and reprogrammed to run better, including people.
So which comes first, the chicken or the egg?
As the saying goes………….Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Need help in this arena? (Wink, Wink, - many of us do)
Look around. There are many resources on my website, social and community and I am always adding to them. I have a strong passion to help others grow and be free in this area.
Additionally, here is a great book, as a resource with more information.
All the Best,
Deanna